No Talking Our Way Out of This !

Our Number One Priority, well, after highway safety, combating litter, cultural preservation, raising awareness of very minor, but exceedingly embarrassing personal medical problems, sustainable speeding and, of course, World Peace....is keeping a sharp eye out for the Police. We like to see them before they see us. We wish to conduct no official business with the sworn persons who enforce the traffic laws of the lower 48 States. We strive to be their one unwritten ticket or at least the one that got away.

We don't follow the coward's path of using a radar detector nor do we listen out for truckers on CB. We follow our instincts. On the interstates we tend to raft up with the herd so that our predators will sack a weak elder or stray calf trailing behind. We like having the road behind us clogged with easy pickings and thus keep the carnage in our rearview. On the back roads we are careful to select those stretches with easy escape routes for our zoom-zooming. If we stay a curve ahead and find a confusing intersection then we'll likely toss in some extra coal and take no less than a 50/50 chance in bolting.

When, however, we are had, nailed, caught dead to rights with no way out, then we put on our Gandhi face and turn pacifist. When they've got you cold the best thing to do is to pull off quickly, safely and run up the white flag post haste. It's eyes forward (no nervous gawking in the rearview), hands high on the wheel, window down, motor off and pulled over far enough off the roadway to give the Trooper a wide and safe place to plant his feet. This was our immediate plan when zipping down Hwy. 78 just a few clicks out of Branchville, SC. We're stepping right along when, BAM, there's the St. George Police on the side of the road and about to eat us for supper. Trapped like a rat we pulled off before the officer could start his cruiser. You must wait for the officer to come to YOUR window not the reverse.

We waited so long that we began to think that the officer expected us to come to his vehicle. So, once at his window what did we find? There in the second photo, a little foggy, but you can see that our conversation was a bit one sided. Was this just a dummy set up to scare us into lawful driving or was it the hand of fate reminding us that both genders are out there now and that we must not presume that it is "he" who seeks our scalp. It well may be a "she" who is our tormentor, but that does not strike us as news. This, of course, may also be the way that municipality is meeting the guidelines for hiring women. No maternity leave for this gal.