INSIDE INFORMATION

While Sunday is the fun day, church signs are out there 24 / 7 to keep members on point, passers by alert and the curious, curious. But, for those most restrictive residential areas where even divine self promotion by signage is disallowed, they're everywhere. These marquee signs are the ammunition with which the battle for motorists' souls is waged.

We love these things and never fail to read one on our back road travels. Perhaps the copy reflects the sentiments of the congregation or the passion of the pastor. They run the gamut from the early stages of mouth breathing to the upper room of wit. Our favorite to date, however, is the Anti-Sign sign, perhaps the End of Signs or at least a sign of the end of sign wars courtesy of the First Baptist Church of North Charleston (SC).

Our favorite suggestion for church sign copy is a quotation from Oscar Wilde. “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

There are church sign generators on the internet with which you can make your own gag church signs. We wanted to do something goofy, but the one we tried ( http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/sign01.php ) says that they just got a Cease and Desist Order from a from a firm in Florida accusing them of fraud and intellectual property infringement. Apparently, the business of church sings is pretty much the rough trade rather than the happy glow of faithful mom and pop shops. You could lose your soul by buggering around with these signs. Even worse you could get sued.