Sunday, October 08, 2006

Need any Survival Underwear ?

Forget L.L. Bean, Eddie Bauer and Cabela's. What you need is well within reach at Greenville's Army Store. From the condition of their streetscape it would appear that some opposing army had launched its own shopping offensive. We think that's just a bit of patina which gives the place character. They have "a little bit of everything" says the sign. Four columns of panels explain these exciting products.

With the rash of street crime in the lowcountry, fear of hurricanes and the worldwide threat from terrorists, survival must be on the minds of many. When you think about survival you naturally think first of underwear. At the Greenville Army Store ( GAS ) you can select either thermal undies or the poly-proplyene variety which we presume would be autoclavalbe. No self-respecting survivalist is going to strap on a canteen without the proper underwear. It just isn't done.

When those monkeys start lobbing grenades into your home, when you're taking incoming fire from AK-47's or after Hurricane Zulu rips the roof from your house, there's nothing quite like a good tarpaulin. After everything gets blown to the devil and back you never seem to have a good canvas bag at the ready in which to store the remnants of your worldly possessions. We don't know a single camper who doesn't take along a nice big foot locker when hiking the Appalachian Trail.

We're not too encouraged by their " MILITARY " offerings for the last entry in that column certainly looks like " WORN BOOTS ". Well, it's such a pain to break in a good set of boots so this may be a plus after all.

We've got to admit that there's something for every one of every age on your shopping list. We were, however, given pause at the offering of FOAM RUBBER of every SIZE AND SHAPE. There must be a 5th column on the side which explains more about this.


Anonymous Pam said...

What a highly informative post! You could almost be a personal shopper - with a specialty in survival underwear (it's always such a pain to go shopping for the stuff - and it's desperately needed at work some days). Anyway, more on the foam rubber of any size and shape? You don't want us to think too much (or for too long) about that one on our own!

7:53 AM  
Blogger Windviel said...

Thanks, Pam. We're no one note pony in our scope of interests. We seek to be of service to readers in all areas. Since useful, but unpleasant asbestos is outlawed, we're looking for a line of at-work undies composed of fire retardant materials.

Once found we'll ask some of the opinion posting bloggers to try them out before we offer them to our civilian friends. Elsa can distribute them to writers to P&C's "Letters to the Editor".

Unsupervised thoughts of non-specific forms of foam rubber on Sunday is unsound.

11:46 AM  

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