Saturday, May 17, 2008

Don't lead, don't follow, JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY !

Here's a mockup of a plan which we should have put into practice before our recent collision. It looks like a good idea for the post-restoration period of the Mustang.

Simply put, we'll install a rhino tusk, a sort of metallic dorsal fang, which is to be used to gouge and cut our way through aggressive opposing vehicles. Since it's quite visible from a great distance it should serve as a potent deterrent to willful misconduct in our path. To those drivers who might try to run the light, cut us off with an unsignalled lane change or beat us through the intersection, the warning is clear. We might lose a headlight, but you will lose your entire vehicle. It will be cut into two separate, but equal pieces and towed to different junkyards. The destruction is assured, but it won't be mutual.

To compensate for the visual obstruction of the dorsal fang, we've created something of a flying bridge just aft of the rear windshield. We shall hire a navigator-spotter to help route us safely through traffic and provide the coordinates in case, heaven forbid, we must attack.

We promise not to use it against City of Charleston Police checkpoints, but in other jurisdictions, well it would depend upon the situation. We want to live and let live, we come in peace, but we think that our front tag should be a likeness of the Gadsden Flag: a yellow field with a coiled serpent and the motto, " Don't Tread On Me ." We also pledge to make no preemptive or unprovoked attack except in the case where fuel prices leave us no choice.

Don't lead, don't follow, just get out of the way!


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